How will you know you attended the Southern Writers Reading Series at Happy Ending Lounge (302 Broome st.) on Wednesday, May 8th and listened to the amazing poems of Melissa Broder, Rio Cortez, Amanda Smeltz, and Iris Cushing?
1. Wake up May 9th and climb onto the fire escape. Let the bluebird land on your finger. It will have Louie Armstrong’s voice and you will offer it some cheesecake. The man selling flowers on the street will call you “Maria” and use a sling shot to put a rose between your teeth. After you crawl inside, you will cook the rose for breakfast. If the moon left a goodbye note on your bed saying ‘have a nice day’, you will know you attended Southern Writers.
2. Tell the world you’re having a dinner party. Invite everybody. Don’t forget the reptiles. Spend your inheritance on the most extravagant tablecloth ever. Go outside and look at the stars like Noah. If somebody shoots you with a poison dart and writes “I Am Beautiful” in permanent marker on your forehead and leaves you sleeping under a fig tree, you will know you attended Southern Writers.
3. Open your favorite book and find a lock of hair. Bow to the east and west. Burn the book before the shrine erected to your one true love. Use the hair as a fake mustache. The gods will think it looks good on you. They will stop turning into mice and running behind the oven. You will die. You will be brought back. You will seem older, wiser. You will write a song. If you play the song and a warm wind blows across your face, you will know you attended Southern Writers.
More or Less,
Reverend Crocodile Monk-fish